What It's All About

It all began with a little 6-year-old's big dream: "I want to raise money for the orphans in Honduras."

And money did he raise. One thousand dollars, in fact, by means of a simple letter to his church. Ah, the innocent plea of a child gets 'em every time.:)

It all began in the compassionate heart of a 6-year-old boy whom I don't even know. Yet three other co-workers, a 10th-grade student of ours, and I all reaped the incredible blessings of this young visionary's heartfelt dream. We shopped all over town to find necessities and special gifts for 65 of the kids at the NPH Ranch. We then piled the gift bags of goodies into the car and arrived to my 2nd home, ready to experience the true meaning of Christmas.

Upon arrival, I graciously witnessed the first of the many blessings we would gradually experience throughout the day: the collision of my two worlds, work and the place where I left my heart so many years ago. Watching our student, Sara, fall in love with some of the most beautiful kids in the world, just as I did in the exact same place over 7 years ago, was so incredibly sweet to my soul. Here was another young person, there to experience my world, experience my heart, experience her own deepest passion, and eventually take her life-changing experience back with her to our school. It was an experience so sweet to the soul, and these matching smiles capture only a glimpse of the true joy they both found that day.

Another blessing occurred as we watched the 40+ kids, aged 4-9, patiently waiting for each of their friends to receive a gift before finally ripping into theirs in sheer excitement. The circle they formed was one of anticipation, and the reward they received for their patience exploded with grins.

Each and every kid became completely engrossed in his or her own little treasure, and not a single gem found in the bag was left unrecognized, unappreciated. They were entertained for so long with simple gifts that cost a total of around $12/each.

My co-worker commented on their oohs and aahs by comparing these young ones to his grandchildren. He told me how each of them would have torn open the gift and been uninterested after two minutes; these gifts, for them, were an overabundance and an excess, with the thousands of toys left unattended in a nearby room serving as obvious witnesses. These kids before us, however, these orphans, were receiving gifts that were full of love, full of necessity, full of His presence....and they just couldn't let go of that presence. Their echoes of "gracias!" filled that place, their God-shaped hearts, and right down to their very lively spirits.

Our final round that day consisted of visiting my godson's home and continuing to shower the older boys with love and gifts. These boys received their blessings quietly and returned to the activity their were participating in, but those that lingered truly graced us with His peace. They lingered to play with our hair (13-15-yr-old boys!), show us the purses and hats they had learned to crochet (13-15-yr-old boys!), and tell us all that they were learning in their vacation courses at school. The atmosphere was very calm, but His presence was just a sweet aroma through the hearts of these young men, still longing for the love and affection they can't find with parents, nor in a special home they can call their own.

The faces and the hugs of those kids whom I know so well truly touched the hearts of my co-workers that day, and I reveled in sharing my secret treasure with them. But the biggest treasure of all was experiencing the true meaning of Christmas alongside them...the act of giving to those in need. No greater joy can be found anywhere but in that very moment.

And it all began with a little 6-year-old boy's dream. We truly are inheritors of His great, overflowing, kingdom of gifts, and it is a delight to share this inheritance from our Father of Lights, God Emmanuel, Giver of all good gifts. It is in the giving that we truly receive. It is in the giving that we experience the true meaning of Christmas. FELIZ NAVIDAD, everyone!!

Here's to You!

To everyone who has walked a mile, shed a tear, shared a hug, prayed a prayer, and comforted me on a sleepless night...

THANK YOU. To everyone who's sent me snail mail and packages (especially candy;), written emails, and actually read this blog...

THANK YOU. For all of your words of encouragement, passion for the Lord's ministry down here, and financial support...

THANK YOU. Your support has provided blessed trips home to see loved ones, gifts for my godsons, resources and conversation starters for my students, and a spiritual and emotional strength that has been so needed...

SO HERE'S TO YOU. Here's to all of you who remind me that I am part of something greater, something sometimes out of my sight or reach....yet something that continually gives me hope and trust in my Great God. Here's to all of you who, despite the distance, have not given up on love or friendship.

IT MEANS MORE THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW! So here's to you--all of my friends, family, and loved ones who have stuck by my side through the mountains and valleys of this journey with my godson (now 15!!) and great love story with my King... I couldn't have made it this far without your support. And so, as I count my blessings today and always, I count you.

I GIVE THANKS TO GOD FOR YOU! May you all receive 100-fold of all that you have given me. LOVE YOU ALL! JJ

Piggybackin'

She's the little girl with the toothy grin and baby doll giggle. She's the lovable lightweight you just can't resist scooping up in your arms.

She's the 8-year-old beauty I first met when she arrived to the orphanage at the young age of four, her mom on her deathbed, preparing to leave behind seven young children in the wake of cancer's sting. She's the brave survivor who suddenly lost her oldest sister, her surrogate mom, in a tragic accident on New Year's eve nearly two years ago.

She's an orphan two times over, and while the scars speak through those tender eyes, life has not yet left them; She is a child of hope. She is a child of joy. And of laughter. And of endless love and smiles. She's my Gaby girl.

I encountered her on the Ranch just after mass a pair of Saturdays ago, and as she approached me and clung to my left leg, I swooped her up in my arms and squeezed her tight, just as I always do. And as I held her close, I felt my heart beat just a little quicker. That Gaby girl, she has such a way of doing that. And it makes my soul smile.

"Where are you going, Jenna?" she asks in her sweet, high-pitched voice. Well, I wasn't headed in her same direction, but love has a way of changing your footsteps. So I swooped her up once again, but this time on my shoulders. It was time to piggyback her to her "hogar," where I would drop her off for the night before returning to be with my godson.

The walk was a mere 10 minutes in length, but its memory has resonated in my spirit for over two weeks now. With Gaby on my shoulders, her arms and legs locked around my neck, and her lively spirit holding me up, we pickyback'd it together on the moonlit evening stroll. It was all child's play: I'd pretend to steer off the path, she'd tip over, and I'd make sure to steady her again. I'd twirl her around once, and her giggle would echo back twice or three times. I'd pick up the pace and "giddy-up" like a horse, and she would completely lose it in hearty laughter. Though it was dark, my heart could see her smile. And in those 10 moments, I was the happiest I'd been all week.

In those 10 moments, little Gaby filled the holes of my heart needing the innocence of a child's love. In those 10 moments, God whispered a sweet reminder of my purpose here. In those 10 moments, all was right with the world. It's amazing what the love of a child can do to your soul.

She's my Gaby girl. And I probably don't need to mention that she stole my heart over four years ago and still holds on tight to it each and every day. She's my Gaby girl, and I'd piggyback with her any day, to all my heart's content.

Where's Your Pulse??

The other week, I spoke with our students in chapel about the heart and how to guard its health both physically and spiritually. We performed an activity where we tested both our resting heart rates and accelerated rates and talked about just what these results signified. Sometimes one just needs to get high school students jumping up and down in order for them to actually pay attention...I hoped and prayed that it worked.

And so I want to challenge myself and my readers to keep our fingers on this pulse, as I present to you these questions: What is it that really gets your blood pumping with excitement? What do you find yourself doing that brings you to a bubbling-over level of joy (and even a ridiculous smile and possibly uncontrollable laughter)? What truly brings you LIFE, and life to the FULL (John 10:10)? Do you know what it is? And most importantly, are you opening up your moments, your dreams and visions, and your soul to opportunities to experiencing this touch with divinity?

A couple of weeks ago, I was abundantly blessed to witness this life-giving breath pulsating from the compassionate eyes, loving smiles, and giving hands of small groups of our 11th graders who volunteered to participate in our Stephen Project service trips to three different locations within the city: the public hospital, a school for the blind, and a local nursing home. Venturing to these places filled with desperately hungry, beautiful hearts and observing the “chispas” (sparks) constantly lit in the every movement and impulse of our students filled my days with overflowing LIFE.

Each of our students' pulses pounded with love, power, and PURE JOY as they were finally given the opportunity to ACT out the life of faith about which they have learned so much in their years of attending a Christian school. Finally, the years of head knowledge, memorized scripture, and weekly chapel attendances were being lived out in action, in faith, and in empowered love and compassion.

And I witnessed miracle after miracle as each student conversed, gave, listened, and loved each and every person in their care for those brief moments during the school day. Our students were transformed, because they found the pulse of a true life of faith: service. It is in the giving that we receive: "It is more blessed (makes one happier and more to be envied) to give than to receive."--Acts 20:35 And boy, did we receive in abundance! Talk about a fire hydrant pressure of Holy Spirit presence! And yes, we danced in the spray and in the giant puddles.

So have you checked your pulse today? Have you found just what gives you true life? Step outside, venture into the unknown, and MOVE at the impulse of His ginormous love. And I promise you will be forever changed. I, for one, am beyond grateful for and so proud of how my students have changed ME. And I hope they know it, because they make me want to skip around my office in absurd joy and thanksgiving. Life lived with Him is just that GOOD.

Hungry for Words

My soul is hungry. And when people say that, they're usually talking about a need for more of the Lord, His presence, or His love. Well, I'm hungry for His knowledge. Like never before. And perhaps I should first clarify that my soul is also tired. Not tired from service unto Him, not tired because of this endless spiritual battle that rages all around us, but tired of...well..."Christian-ese" and "Christian-isms." I'm tired of feeling like I have to say all of the right Christian things that a good follower should... "Hey, God bless you!" "Don't worry, all in His timing!" "He works everything for the good!" "Yeah, I'll pray for you!" (or not)

I'm tired of filling in the gaps with my own strength, my own aimless beating into the air. And I'm hungry, even ravished, for the Spirit of God to move in my words. I want HIM to overflow from my heart and mind and into words of KNOWLEDGE for my students. I want to be slow to speak (and open to awkward silences) and quick to listen to the Spirit's voice. And then, by His marvelous grace, I will be able to experience the power that moves when His Spirit is given the freedom to fly and move about as the wind. And lives will be changed....because HE is changing them, not me. I'm just a stinky rag, anyway.

So this is my prayer request for all of you. And my prayer to the Lord echoes that of David: "May the words of my mouth....be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."--Psalm 19:14 Amen and Amen. "...to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. For to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, and to another the word of knowledge according to the same Spirit."--1 Corinthians 12:7-8

Al Revés

Al revés: Spanish for "the other way around," "on the contrary," or "the wrong way round." This phrase most perfectly describes my most recent revelation of the calling God has placed upon me down here in Honduras. It has definitely not "turned out" the way I had ever imagined it would.

Upon my first trip to the country, at the young age of 24, I had the same inexperienced yet passionate and determined yet perhaps naive mindset that most young people share: I wanted to change the world. I wanted to save my sponsor child from his 'depraved, unfortunate situation,' bring him to the States, and teach him English (after all, there was NO WAY I was going to learn Spanish!). I wanted to love on kids from the orphanage once or twice a year for a week at a time, just so they could finally experience the love of Christ that was flowing out of a willing (yet ignorantly prideful) servant of His.

After living here for quite some time and humbly witnessing my many failed attempts at relationships with children and students from the orphanage, students and families at the school, and even personal friendships with both Hondurans and foreigners, I have often questioned any changes I have even made in my "dedicated service unto the Lord." I'm supposed to write home of the miracles, life transformations, and spiritual victories I have experienced as a result of my "faithful response" to His calling here, right? Isn't the crime-ridden, poverty-stricken, oppressed country of Honduras supposed to be different, albeit one individual at a time, due to my presence here? Isn't that the reason God called me here?

Perhaps. Yes, perhaps I have witnessed positive life transformation and restored relationships. Perhaps God has surprised me a time or two with the confession of a student and the outpouring of a healing love from an orphan. But perhaps these reasons are not those for which God has called me here. Perhaps, rather than sending me here to "change the world," He sent me here to change ME.

How have I changed? I've learned that the world and its many diverse cultures look hugely different than that of the U.S. I've learned that the U.S. is just as messed up (due to the sin that resides everywhere on this earth) as developing countries; we just hide our sin and shame better. I've learned to be fully present in every moment, which was so difficult for SO many years as I country-hopped. I've learned that, for so many years, I made ministry about me and how much I was appreciated, accepted, and loved by those in my care; it was not about His glory. If I never receive a single ounce of love in return of what I pour out, it doesn't matter; Christ IS enough. The Lord had to strip me of every "easy" ministry relationship in order for me to realize that, without Him, I can do NOTHING (John 15:5). I MUST become less so that He can become greater (John 3:30). I've learned that the Christian road is VERY narrow, and even so-called "Christians" do not dare tread upon it; the suffering is far too painful, the cost far too high, and the comfort far too sparse. I've learned to die unto myself daily, because "It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me" (Galatians 2:20). I've learned that, if God has called me here for four years simply to impact the life of a single individual, everything was worth it...everything. It's all about quality and not quantity. And finally, I've learned more than I ever before could even comprehend just how God has designed each and everyone of us for RELATIONSHIP--with Him and each other. We CANNOT survive without those healthy relationships. As His children, we need to stop running from each other (to sin, comfort, and our own pride) and learn to bring our brokenness to one another so that we can rightly restore humanity as the relational entity that it is.

So there you have it...God has sent me here to BE changed. And my prayer is that, as He changes me, through my weakness, brokenness, and humility, He will somehow change the world. I may never witness just what that change looks like, but it doesn't matter...El Roi, the God Who Sees, knows the work He is doing. And it's all about Him anyway. We just have to acknowledge that we all have it "Al reves" and need to let Him change us. Are we willing??

A Whisper Amidst the Barrenness

The nostalgic smell of the Honduran air fills my nostrils. The sights of the city of Tegucigalpa, with its ruins of poverty amidst both commercialism and corruption, are so familiar and yet still disturbing to my too-often-blinded eyes. The sound of the chirping birds in the early morning awake me to my comfortable room, with walls aligned with photos of so many people I love. The 5-minute walk to my beloved Honduran family fills me with so much joy, as endless stories of the summer pour out amidst tangents of ridiculous laughter. Ahhhh, this is home.

And yet, though I have recently left a country that prides itself on individualism and makes me long for the sense of community which is so vibrant and life-giving here in Central America, I find myself engulfed in a loneliness deeper than the roots I left behind in Minnesota. Perhaps it's just the transition and initial culture shock, but I also know that I don't do well with letting go. Over the past 4 years, so much has changed: fellow foreigner friends have come and gone, students have graduated and families have moved (or fled) to the States, and many of the children at the orphanage have dispersed, while endless new faces embrace me longingly as I walk the long, barren paths of El Rancho Santa Fe. And on top of it all, I am currently facing the reality of the departure of my one friend whom has journeyed with me through all of the highs and lows, joys and tears, and dance parties and sugar fests of my time here in Honduras. On September 8th, Dorie will return to her home country of Holland, and I will need to start afresh yet again. I cannot deny the fear and loneliness that I feel, but during last week's stay at the orphanage, God gently whispered (as He tends to do) a reminder of His very purpose for my stay here in Honduras, and I was humbled by my selfish pride.

As my well-worn Converse tennies kicked up dust while I wandered from place to place on the large Ranch I once called home, I finally arrived to the building that would calm my nerves, subdue my lonely thoughts, and restore my emptiness with His joy. Upon entering El Buen Pastor and finally the living area of Arca de Noe, I was mobbed with hugs and shouts of the many crazy nicknames I've been given throughout my time here by the boys I've known for up to 7 years. Crazy exchanges of silly looks, "cool" handshakes, and radiant smiles began filling my heart with His love once again. And of course the sheepish grin of my godson, LuisFer, peering out from his quiet corner as usual, eventually drowned out every other noise and sight from the entire room. I smothered him with a big embrace as usual, and his model-esque smile seemed to stand frozen in time as we sat next to each other and slowly began catching up on lost time. It amazes and blesses me to realize that a 15-year-old still relishes time with me and will even hold my hand. Our talks of traveling someday to his hometown about 10 hours away fills my mind with beautiful visions of the future that still awaits the two of us. After all of these years, more than ever, Luis is hungry for a relationship with me, his ONLY "family." Yes, I call him "hijo," (son) and he oscillates between calling me "madrina" (godmother) and "mama." And....we just can BE together. It's me and him, him and me. I've all he's got, and some days I feel like he's all I've got. But you know what? It's enough. It's enough because this young man needs more love than I could ever give him in my own strength. It's enough because he understands my loneliness and needs me just as much as I do him. It's enough because HE is the reason God called me here in the first place. Though all that surrounds me gives way, God has not yet removed the very heartbeat that drove me (begrudgingly) to this once unfamiliar place. If I was called here to impact the life of one child and only that child, that is enough. My pride needs to be stripped away, and I need to remind myself that is not about quantity but quality.

My visit to the Ranch last week, before returning to work at Academia Los Pinares, led me to reflect on the story of Jesus and the children. "Let the little children come to me," He said. For so many years I understood His call as a desire to minister to them and love on them. This past week, I began to wonder...perhaps Jesus requested the children's presence so that THEY could minister to HIM. I'm sure Jesus often ached with the same loneliness I feel on the quiet paths of El Rancho Santa Fe, and I'm sure that sometimes, rather than He holding them, it was they who held Him. His kingdom belongs to such as these....may His kingdom come and His will be done on Earth and in my calling here in Honduras. Amen!

A New Chapter

Well, while I cannot tell if my unusually profuse amount of sweating is due to the thick humidity in the air or my thoughts of an upcoming plane ride in the wee hours of the morning, I am certain that the shakiness that is making typing difficult only comes from the nerves associated with this looming country-skip. I've done this international swap SO many times, yet every time it produces different emotions and a reminder of just how abnormal my life is. This abnormality seems to be the cause of my frequent feelings of craziness and even alienation, yet I am reminded that, no matter where I am in the world, I will struggle as a foreigner, and my soul will never feel "at home" until I arrive at heaven's gates. And so I press on, always unsure of the path ahead, yet posturing myself with an assurance of His desire for my good and for His glory wherever He chooses for me to be His fragrance unto this fallen world.

As I leave behind SO many weathered, deep, comfortable, and amazing friendships, an overwhelming sense of gratitude comes over me. This summer was my most favorite YET, ever since my initial departure for Honduras in June of 2008, so THANK YOU to everyone who was able to share a moment, a laugh, a patio, and an afternoon in the sun with me. You have blessed me more than you know, and I look forward to seeing you again soon. What has meant the most to me has been a new, deeper, and profound understanding of the magnitude of support you all provide for me in so many ways. As the Lord continually teaches me humility, I am reminded to oh-so-humbly ask for your continued spiritual, emotional, relational, and financial support. Below are my prayer requests for the next couple of weeks and a reminder of how to partner with me in ministry.

PRAYER REQUESTS: The many cultural adjustments ahead of me as I return to Honduras. Proper time management amongst my work with students at the school, time at the orphanage, and time in my master's studies. Growing relationships with the many students in my care. That God would use me as the healing instrument He has called me to be. Granted desires according to His will and an increase in dreams and visions for ministry! HOW TO SUPPORT GOD'S WORK IN HONDURAS: Donate online with a credit card: Visit www.adventive.ca and click on “Donate now, US.” Choose the “Honduras A1 (J Jaunich)” fund. Or include the slip below with a check and mail it to: ACCI, 141 East Main St, Rock Hill, SC 29730 Project Designation: HONDURAS A1 (J Jaunich) Amount $__________ Your name or organization: _____________________________________________ Contact information: ___________________________________________________ Street City __________________________ State Postal Code ( ) - ______ - __________ ________________________________________ Telephone Email Please make checks payable to ACCI.