I've been back in Honduras for an entire MONTH already....ahhhhh! And I was going to start blogging again like 2 weeks ago....whelp, late as usual, figures.
Ok, so when I first got here I was really surprised to go through about 3 days of major culture shock. I had spent a year and a half here and had apparently grown desensitized to the poverty- and crime-stricken realities of Tegucigalpa. I suddenly felt slightly fearful walking on the streets and had to once again re-adapt to life without the liberty of a car (or a faster-than-two-hour commute to the Ranch). It was strange to feel uncomfortable in a country I had grown to love and acknowledge as my second home. But don't worry folks, the culture shock quickly passed and I soon dove into my love for everything Honduras.:)
Initially, I was also quite overwhelmed by having to start over once again with 60+ new gringo co-workers, a new location in Tegus, and over 300 new students to try to name and grow to understand and love, all the while trying to re-connect with past friendships, students, and my beloved Ranch kids from my prior two years here. I have learned that I am not a large group person (though God always likes to throw me into places like that:), so I quickly stepped into my "Recluse" character and asocial habits for a couple of weeks. As names have slooowly smelted into my memory and familiar faces continue to cross my path, I am gradually beginning to feel ready for a deeper level of new friendships...maybe?? But I really do miss friendships back home and the ones that seemed to so much more easily form my first year and a half here. I definitely feel like I'm getting old and less open to whole new beginnings. But I guess that's gotta be a normal feeling for someone who has moved around so much, verdad?
I LOOOOOOVE my job!!! Wow, I feel SO blessed and privileged and GRACED to have been granted such a responsibility as this, at such a time as this. My job as Asst. Spiritual Director serves as a well-balanced mix of youth ministry, counseling, overseeing, brainstorming, and one-on-one daily connections with the kids. I was designated the role as MC on our first 3 day retreats for the students...yowzas. I definitely felt short on the energy side of things, but God must have granted it to me supernaturally, because I was soon becoming known as the high-energy part of our team of 3 in the Spiritual Development dept....go figure. Again, God always seems to call me where I just don't feel so qualified, ready, or equipped...hmmmmm....He must become more; I must become less. I just yesterday gave my first talk at chapel, and it was an incredible opportunity to show the students just how much I care about them, how I want to grow to know them more, and how I see God just beginning my work here. I feel great ease and excitement (at the same time? hmmm....) in sensing God's gentle call on me here for quite some time. I think I could get used to this place....again.
More to come soon...love and miss you all back home, especially my nieces!!!
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4 comments:
Wauw, I LOVE your personal story!! You wrote it so honostly and close to your own emotions!! Go for it ma love, you defenitly can do it!!!
wow love. you have articulated that transition so well. it's always a mix of joy and resistance to merge into these new things. you are doing it beautifully and trusting God so well. seeing you lean on him is encouraging. i will be transitioning back to Congo in just a few weeks too.
What a great blog. Thanks Jenna, you'd make a great Spiritual Director anywhere. Sounds like the cultural jolt was a deep one. Good instincts in one place, -not the other? Paz y Amor Joe
I love this. And I see God in every little bit of it.
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