Responsibilidades, Enfermadades, Polvo y...Gelatina??

Hey folks...wow, I am continuing to slack on my blog updates here...sorry! I have a good excuse this time, though...well, several, actually, so THERE!:) Ok, so it's been about a month...



Well from mid-September until the beginning of October, I struggled with my first bout of true homesickness...for about 3 weeks. It was a tough stretch, and I think that a variety of things contributated to this...many announcements from home about engagements, babies, pregnancies, etc; thoughts of the beauty of fall in Minnesota (Sept is my fave month there!); birthdays, and my own stretch of physical sickness on and off for the same period of time...blah! God has shown me so much about the gifts of the people He's given me back home...I have really learned to never take for granted the amazing people that come into my life! I miss you all oodles!



Mid-Sept. also marked a whole new world of responsibilites for me in my job. My fellow 'tia', my sort-of supervisor and co-worker with my 6 chiquitos here, left for her 5 1/2-week vacation on Sept. 20th, also leaving me with all of her responsibilities surrounding the daily medications for all the kids, key-entry access to all of important doors involved in my job, the 'training-in' responsibilites for the new 'tia' substitute, daily chores, etc. I was definitely ready for the new challenge, yet also definitely beyond nervous, because I had to work with a new girl who wasn't used to my 'beginner' spanish (as well as my nice gringa accent:) and with whom I had to instruct in EVERYTHING...in spanish...yikes!! Also, I knew that the medications at this time were many for my kids (they all were sick with me:), so I was a tad overwhelmed with the list in front of me everyday...

WHEW! Ah, well...lo and behold, God was once again faithful in EVERYthing. The 'new girl' turned out to be super nice, super talkative (which at first was super tough because she talks REALLY fast...ayyy!), and a very helpful support. Yes, sometimes she tries to run the joint (I've been humbled constantly when others underestimate my spanish...being put into the shoes of a foreigner has taught me incredible amounts which I cannot verse here), but it's been good for me to learn to be more confident in my abilities as both a Tia here and as a spanish speaker.

Also, God has once again reminded me of my purpose here at the Ranch through these new responsibilities. One of my little kids is HIV positive (there are about 30 kids here with HIV), and so each day when I give him his meds I am reminded of how precious life is, and just the huge contribution I can make to each little one's life here. I am also reminded of the gift of NPH for each of these kids...many have come from horrible and hopeless situations and have been brought to a place of support, love, and definitely a bright future...it is so beautiful. He has not forgotten a single one of these children.

God's voice also spoke to me loud and clear when I attended my first english church service here a few weeks back. Firstly, during the service, I was shocked to realize that, right away, I really missed the challenge of the spanish language. I couldn't believe it! I thought I'd enjoy the ease of the english language, but I actually felt kinda weird throughout the service. Wow. What a long way the Lord has brought me...little steps day by day add up to so much! And as I write today, I can honestly tell you that, after nearly 4 months of living in Honduras, I have been brought to a whole new level with the language...in comfort, confidence, ability, and ease...wow. He does work miracles...haha. And why did I doubt so much, again?

But what God REALLY spoke to me through that service that day actually continually brings me to a place of humility and serves as a reminder to keep my eyes and my praise focused on Him. The message that day was all about how we, as God's servants, are dust (polvo)...fading like the flowers...gone in the blink of an idea. We often set out on these big 'missions' from God, ready to conquer the world and ready to receive all of His blessings and hand-outs along the way. We often expect God to revolve Himself around OUR plans and OUR great good-doings rather than allowing ourselves to revolve completely around Him. I was brought to a place of conviction during the sermon, because ever since I'd set out on these 'big journey' from God that was obviously not in MY plan of things, I've focused a lot on myself, my needs, my survival, my accompishments, my 'winning of souls' rather than allowing myself to be completely moldable clay in the Potter's great hands.
I've learned that I was not brought here to become famous for God, to be known, to make drastic changes at NPH, to show-off my true intelligence and skills, etc...
I have been brought here to die unto myself...my pre-conceived notions, my desires, my 'abilities' or lack-there-of...my will, my way, my emotions, my all. And oh, I am far from a finished project. But in this stripping process...this place of, at times, absolute nothingness, one thing seems to glimmer ever more brightly with time. One thing remains when all else is stripped away. One voice rises above the rest.
'LOVE.'
Love these kids with all that you are...with all that I, the great I AM, am making you to be...
Love these kids when you don't feel like it.
Hold the hugs. And give them frequently. The children yearn for physical touch.
Don't stop telling the kids that you love them. Do it every day. And remind them how much I love them, too.
Encourage them daily. And stop when they ask you question. No question is too impertinent or too often repeated.
Smile. Tell them how beautiful they are.
Praise them. And acknowledge each one's presence.
It's what Jesus would do.
And you may be the only Jesus they ever encounter.
Just give them Jesus.

Out of time...will write more soon!