Al Revés

Al revés: Spanish for "the other way around," "on the contrary," or "the wrong way round." This phrase most perfectly describes my most recent revelation of the calling God has placed upon me down here in Honduras. It has definitely not "turned out" the way I had ever imagined it would.

Upon my first trip to the country, at the young age of 24, I had the same inexperienced yet passionate and determined yet perhaps naive mindset that most young people share: I wanted to change the world. I wanted to save my sponsor child from his 'depraved, unfortunate situation,' bring him to the States, and teach him English (after all, there was NO WAY I was going to learn Spanish!). I wanted to love on kids from the orphanage once or twice a year for a week at a time, just so they could finally experience the love of Christ that was flowing out of a willing (yet ignorantly prideful) servant of His.

After living here for quite some time and humbly witnessing my many failed attempts at relationships with children and students from the orphanage, students and families at the school, and even personal friendships with both Hondurans and foreigners, I have often questioned any changes I have even made in my "dedicated service unto the Lord." I'm supposed to write home of the miracles, life transformations, and spiritual victories I have experienced as a result of my "faithful response" to His calling here, right? Isn't the crime-ridden, poverty-stricken, oppressed country of Honduras supposed to be different, albeit one individual at a time, due to my presence here? Isn't that the reason God called me here?

Perhaps. Yes, perhaps I have witnessed positive life transformation and restored relationships. Perhaps God has surprised me a time or two with the confession of a student and the outpouring of a healing love from an orphan. But perhaps these reasons are not those for which God has called me here. Perhaps, rather than sending me here to "change the world," He sent me here to change ME.

How have I changed? I've learned that the world and its many diverse cultures look hugely different than that of the U.S. I've learned that the U.S. is just as messed up (due to the sin that resides everywhere on this earth) as developing countries; we just hide our sin and shame better. I've learned to be fully present in every moment, which was so difficult for SO many years as I country-hopped. I've learned that, for so many years, I made ministry about me and how much I was appreciated, accepted, and loved by those in my care; it was not about His glory. If I never receive a single ounce of love in return of what I pour out, it doesn't matter; Christ IS enough. The Lord had to strip me of every "easy" ministry relationship in order for me to realize that, without Him, I can do NOTHING (John 15:5). I MUST become less so that He can become greater (John 3:30). I've learned that the Christian road is VERY narrow, and even so-called "Christians" do not dare tread upon it; the suffering is far too painful, the cost far too high, and the comfort far too sparse. I've learned to die unto myself daily, because "It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me" (Galatians 2:20). I've learned that, if God has called me here for four years simply to impact the life of a single individual, everything was worth it...everything. It's all about quality and not quantity. And finally, I've learned more than I ever before could even comprehend just how God has designed each and everyone of us for RELATIONSHIP--with Him and each other. We CANNOT survive without those healthy relationships. As His children, we need to stop running from each other (to sin, comfort, and our own pride) and learn to bring our brokenness to one another so that we can rightly restore humanity as the relational entity that it is.

So there you have it...God has sent me here to BE changed. And my prayer is that, as He changes me, through my weakness, brokenness, and humility, He will somehow change the world. I may never witness just what that change looks like, but it doesn't matter...El Roi, the God Who Sees, knows the work He is doing. And it's all about Him anyway. We just have to acknowledge that we all have it "Al reves" and need to let Him change us. Are we willing??

A Whisper Amidst the Barrenness

The nostalgic smell of the Honduran air fills my nostrils. The sights of the city of Tegucigalpa, with its ruins of poverty amidst both commercialism and corruption, are so familiar and yet still disturbing to my too-often-blinded eyes. The sound of the chirping birds in the early morning awake me to my comfortable room, with walls aligned with photos of so many people I love. The 5-minute walk to my beloved Honduran family fills me with so much joy, as endless stories of the summer pour out amidst tangents of ridiculous laughter. Ahhhh, this is home.

And yet, though I have recently left a country that prides itself on individualism and makes me long for the sense of community which is so vibrant and life-giving here in Central America, I find myself engulfed in a loneliness deeper than the roots I left behind in Minnesota. Perhaps it's just the transition and initial culture shock, but I also know that I don't do well with letting go. Over the past 4 years, so much has changed: fellow foreigner friends have come and gone, students have graduated and families have moved (or fled) to the States, and many of the children at the orphanage have dispersed, while endless new faces embrace me longingly as I walk the long, barren paths of El Rancho Santa Fe. And on top of it all, I am currently facing the reality of the departure of my one friend whom has journeyed with me through all of the highs and lows, joys and tears, and dance parties and sugar fests of my time here in Honduras. On September 8th, Dorie will return to her home country of Holland, and I will need to start afresh yet again. I cannot deny the fear and loneliness that I feel, but during last week's stay at the orphanage, God gently whispered (as He tends to do) a reminder of His very purpose for my stay here in Honduras, and I was humbled by my selfish pride.

As my well-worn Converse tennies kicked up dust while I wandered from place to place on the large Ranch I once called home, I finally arrived to the building that would calm my nerves, subdue my lonely thoughts, and restore my emptiness with His joy. Upon entering El Buen Pastor and finally the living area of Arca de Noe, I was mobbed with hugs and shouts of the many crazy nicknames I've been given throughout my time here by the boys I've known for up to 7 years. Crazy exchanges of silly looks, "cool" handshakes, and radiant smiles began filling my heart with His love once again. And of course the sheepish grin of my godson, LuisFer, peering out from his quiet corner as usual, eventually drowned out every other noise and sight from the entire room. I smothered him with a big embrace as usual, and his model-esque smile seemed to stand frozen in time as we sat next to each other and slowly began catching up on lost time. It amazes and blesses me to realize that a 15-year-old still relishes time with me and will even hold my hand. Our talks of traveling someday to his hometown about 10 hours away fills my mind with beautiful visions of the future that still awaits the two of us. After all of these years, more than ever, Luis is hungry for a relationship with me, his ONLY "family." Yes, I call him "hijo," (son) and he oscillates between calling me "madrina" (godmother) and "mama." And....we just can BE together. It's me and him, him and me. I've all he's got, and some days I feel like he's all I've got. But you know what? It's enough. It's enough because this young man needs more love than I could ever give him in my own strength. It's enough because he understands my loneliness and needs me just as much as I do him. It's enough because HE is the reason God called me here in the first place. Though all that surrounds me gives way, God has not yet removed the very heartbeat that drove me (begrudgingly) to this once unfamiliar place. If I was called here to impact the life of one child and only that child, that is enough. My pride needs to be stripped away, and I need to remind myself that is not about quantity but quality.

My visit to the Ranch last week, before returning to work at Academia Los Pinares, led me to reflect on the story of Jesus and the children. "Let the little children come to me," He said. For so many years I understood His call as a desire to minister to them and love on them. This past week, I began to wonder...perhaps Jesus requested the children's presence so that THEY could minister to HIM. I'm sure Jesus often ached with the same loneliness I feel on the quiet paths of El Rancho Santa Fe, and I'm sure that sometimes, rather than He holding them, it was they who held Him. His kingdom belongs to such as these....may His kingdom come and His will be done on Earth and in my calling here in Honduras. Amen!

A New Chapter

Well, while I cannot tell if my unusually profuse amount of sweating is due to the thick humidity in the air or my thoughts of an upcoming plane ride in the wee hours of the morning, I am certain that the shakiness that is making typing difficult only comes from the nerves associated with this looming country-skip. I've done this international swap SO many times, yet every time it produces different emotions and a reminder of just how abnormal my life is. This abnormality seems to be the cause of my frequent feelings of craziness and even alienation, yet I am reminded that, no matter where I am in the world, I will struggle as a foreigner, and my soul will never feel "at home" until I arrive at heaven's gates. And so I press on, always unsure of the path ahead, yet posturing myself with an assurance of His desire for my good and for His glory wherever He chooses for me to be His fragrance unto this fallen world.

As I leave behind SO many weathered, deep, comfortable, and amazing friendships, an overwhelming sense of gratitude comes over me. This summer was my most favorite YET, ever since my initial departure for Honduras in June of 2008, so THANK YOU to everyone who was able to share a moment, a laugh, a patio, and an afternoon in the sun with me. You have blessed me more than you know, and I look forward to seeing you again soon. What has meant the most to me has been a new, deeper, and profound understanding of the magnitude of support you all provide for me in so many ways. As the Lord continually teaches me humility, I am reminded to oh-so-humbly ask for your continued spiritual, emotional, relational, and financial support. Below are my prayer requests for the next couple of weeks and a reminder of how to partner with me in ministry.

PRAYER REQUESTS: The many cultural adjustments ahead of me as I return to Honduras. Proper time management amongst my work with students at the school, time at the orphanage, and time in my master's studies. Growing relationships with the many students in my care. That God would use me as the healing instrument He has called me to be. Granted desires according to His will and an increase in dreams and visions for ministry! HOW TO SUPPORT GOD'S WORK IN HONDURAS: Donate online with a credit card: Visit www.adventive.ca and click on “Donate now, US.” Choose the “Honduras A1 (J Jaunich)” fund. Or include the slip below with a check and mail it to: ACCI, 141 East Main St, Rock Hill, SC 29730 Project Designation: HONDURAS A1 (J Jaunich) Amount $__________ Your name or organization: _____________________________________________ Contact information: ___________________________________________________ Street City __________________________ State Postal Code ( ) - ______ - __________ ________________________________________ Telephone Email Please make checks payable to ACCI.

The How-To: Connect and Partner with Me!

Sorry folks, photos are just not uploading for me right now, so we'll have to settle for text-only updates today. My final tidbits of information include just how to specifically support my currently work as a global team member of ACCI in Honduras, as well as how we can stay connected throughout the following school year. Here ya have it: TO STAY CONNECTED: Send me an email to join the prayer team at: jennabethany@gmail.com Call or text me in Honduras at my international phone number: 651-968-1898 Learn more about the 501c(3) organization called ACCI at their website: TO DONATE: Donate online with a credit card: Visit www.adventive.ca and click on “Donate now, US.” Choose the “Honduras A1 (J Jaunich)” fund. Or include the slip below with a check and mail it to: ACCI, 141 East Main St, Rock Hill, SC 29730 Donate online with a credit card: visit www.adventive.ca and click on “Donate now, US.” Choose the “Honduras A1 (J Jaunich)” fund. or Please include this slip with a cheque and mail to: ACCI, 141 East Main St, Rock Hill, SC 29730 Project Designation: HONDURAS A1 (J Jaunich) Amount $__________ Your name or organization: _____________________________________________ Contact information: ___________________________________________________ Street City __________________________ State Postal Code ( ) - ______ - __________ ________________________________________ Telephone Email Please make checks payable to ACCI. IMPORTANT… Please do not write the name of the recipient anywhere on the check. Designated funds given to the named project will be assigned to the project; however ACCI reserves the right to apply donations to other projects as it deems appropriate. You will receive a tax deductible receipt.

An Invitation to a New Journey

Many of you have journeyed with me in one way or another throughout my 4-year adventures, triumphs, and trials in Honduras. The stories are too numerous to recount, the gained knowledge too unimaginable to explain (i.e. the ability to speak the Spanish language!), and the relationships of love, gratitude, and humble understanding too profound to put into concise words. And yet, one solitary word rises above the ever-revolving reel of memories made and visions yet to be fulfilled as I ponder my incredible experiences as an individual missionary: faithfulness. Through all of the highs and lows, doubts and difficulties, fears and victories, our God has remained faithful: faithful to provide, faithful to teach and grow both myself and those around me, and faithful in His love and security as my Rock and Redeemer. My life verse has long been Ephesians 3:16-22, and its truth has permeated all of my steps in the uncharted waters of missionary work abroad. After all of these years of leaning on His faithfulness and surviving on complete trust in His love, He has recently humbled me to a new place. I would now like to ask you to journey with me in a way that can and will stretch us, grow us, and unite us in a manner yet to be personally experienced during these years of serving in and near Tegucigalpa. I have recently felt called to partner with a non-profit, 501(c)(3) organization whose vision is to spiritually and financially support missionaries such as myself who do not have another non-profit (i.e. a church or missionary organization) by which to seek such vital support from loved ones back home in the States. Adventive Cross Cultural Initiatives serves in “attracting, equipping, sending, and serving the vision of passionate, effective leaders and teams who are focused on cross-culturally advancing the kingdom of Christ throughout the world.” By means of this umbrella organization, I am asking you to consider committing to financially supporting my work in Honduras both as the Assistant Spiritu-al Director in a bilingual high school and as a continuous visitor and volunteer at the NPH orphanage I initially worked at four years ago. While I do earn a Hon-duran salary at the school at which I work, there is so much more I would like to see done as I serve so many young people in their day-to-day lives. I now have three godsons at the orphan-age whose lives I am responsible for pouring into emotionally, spiritually, and even materially as I celebrate their birthdays, graduations, and Christmas with them by means of a necessary gift (i.e. shoes, clothes, Bibles). At the school, the budget in the Spiritual Life department is so small that I often am not able to purchase needed youth ministry materials and Bible studies/devotionals for our students who desire them. Also, due to the lack of financial resources, last year I was unable to make it home for Christmas with my family, and this proved heartbreaking for my mother and quit lonesome for me. I am hoping that the support of financial donors will allow for this trip to take place this year; it would be a true gift. And so, due to the needs stated above, I invite you to consider partnering with me spiritually and/or financially, in the Lord’s pursuit of touching the lives of the many young people I know in Tegucigalpa who are in desperate need of His amazing love. You may do so my joining my prayer request team, to which I will send monthly prayer request needs for the ministry in which I am participating. Also, you may give a one-time donation to this ministry, and if you would like, you may state just how you would like this donation to be used (i.e. at the orphanage or at the school). Ideally, I am looking for monthly contributors who are willing to commit to an entire year of regular support, the timeline goal beginning this August 15th and continuing through the following August 15th of 2013. In order to keep each of you whom are interested in this partnership informed on the bi-weekly happenings at the orphanage and school, as well as the continual transformational work of the Lord in the lives of the several students with whom I work, I will be re-posting on this blog, which I initially created four years ago during my ser-vice year at the orphanage. I will send you all updates here, as well as pictures of the beautiful young people in my care and any information you may need in order to begin financially supporting this mission in Honduras. You may also share this blog with your friends and family and invite them to join in on the adventure in which I have been privileged to walk alongside our great God. If you have any further questions as to just how to support this work financially and/or spiritually, please feel free to contact me by any of the modes listed here. Thank you so much for your love, support, and prayers throughout the years; without the body of Christ and the relational support you all have offered me, I would not feel the strength I do from Him to press on each day and continue the work that He has begun in me in Latin America! Blessings to you all!

For Such a Time as This....

I've been back in Honduras for an entire MONTH already....ahhhhh! And I was going to start blogging again like 2 weeks ago....whelp, late as usual, figures.

Ok, so when I first got here I was really surprised to go through about 3 days of major culture shock. I had spent a year and a half here and had apparently grown desensitized to the poverty- and crime-stricken realities of Tegucigalpa. I suddenly felt slightly fearful walking on the streets and had to once again re-adapt to life without the liberty of a car (or a faster-than-two-hour commute to the Ranch). It was strange to feel uncomfortable in a country I had grown to love and acknowledge as my second home. But don't worry folks, the culture shock quickly passed and I soon dove into my love for everything Honduras.:)

Initially, I was also quite overwhelmed by having to start over once again with 60+ new gringo co-workers, a new location in Tegus, and over 300 new students to try to name and grow to understand and love, all the while trying to re-connect with past friendships, students, and my beloved Ranch kids from my prior two years here. I have learned that I am not a large group person (though God always likes to throw me into places like that:), so I quickly stepped into my "Recluse" character and asocial habits for a couple of weeks. As names have slooowly smelted into my memory and familiar faces continue to cross my path, I am gradually beginning to feel ready for a deeper level of new friendships...maybe?? But I really do miss friendships back home and the ones that seemed to so much more easily form my first year and a half here. I definitely feel like I'm getting old and less open to whole new beginnings. But I guess that's gotta be a normal feeling for someone who has moved around so much, verdad?

I LOOOOOOVE my job!!! Wow, I feel SO blessed and privileged and GRACED to have been granted such a responsibility as this, at such a time as this. My job as Asst. Spiritual Director serves as a well-balanced mix of youth ministry, counseling, overseeing, brainstorming, and one-on-one daily connections with the kids. I was designated the role as MC on our first 3 day retreats for the students...yowzas. I definitely felt short on the energy side of things, but God must have granted it to me supernaturally, because I was soon becoming known as the high-energy part of our team of 3 in the Spiritual Development dept....go figure. Again, God always seems to call me where I just don't feel so qualified, ready, or equipped...hmmmmm....He must become more; I must become less. I just yesterday gave my first talk at chapel, and it was an incredible opportunity to show the students just how much I care about them, how I want to grow to know them more, and how I see God just beginning my work here. I feel great ease and excitement (at the same time? hmmm....) in sensing God's gentle call on me here for quite some time. I think I could get used to this place....again.

More to come soon...love and miss you all back home, especially my nieces!!!

A Glance Back...

Well, the big landmark has arrived: I have been living in Honduras for exactly one year! At moments throughout the year, I wondered if I could really make it to this point, and at other moments, a year just did not seem like enough time. Yet in all of these, I can honestly say that the time spent here has flown by, and I have grown and learned SO much. I will attempt to share with you some of these moments of learning in this blog, although merely an entry could never contain all that the Lord has so gracefully shown me through my year of service, struggles, growth, and joys.
As I glance back at these God moments of understanding, hoping, and changing, I've gotta share with y'all the news of the year ahead...after much praying and waiting, and a bit of anxiety, I have decided to pursue what I feel is a calling from the Lord to remain down in Honduras another year! It really has been a rollarcoaster adventure, all of this...just 4 years ago I had no desire for international mission work, no understanding of Spanish, and no clue as to where the Lord would be leading me in a couple of short years. Now, following a year of complete immersion experience at the most difficult job I have ever held (and still surviving!), I will be embarking on new, uncharted territory...I will go from Tia to Maestra, serving as a middle-school teacher in (of ALL things!) Science to bilingual, Honduran students in a Christian school in the nearby capital, Tegucigalpa. The Lord just isn't finished with me down here in CentroAmerica...I'm not sure what He's got up His sleeve with this next step, but I am very excited to be working with a new organization but yet to be an active part of the childrens' lives at the Ranch whom have completely captured by heart.
As I begin my final month with the beautiful children and staff of NPH's El Rancho Santa Fe, I reflect on some of the many things these young yet well-lived souls, as well as the intriguing culture of Honduras, have taught me throughout the past year.

1. It can take an entire lifetime to truly make and see a difference...or it can take simply a moment.

2. Fresh fruit had never tasted so good as it has in Honduras: Five mangos for a dollar, and free pineapple, watermelon, cantelope, and bananas very week....heavenly!

3. Some of the hardest workers in the world get paid the very least.

4. The grossest thing I do every week is take out the organic trash, because dozens of vultures swarm me as I do it. Vultures are my biggest phobia, for real. We're not in Kansas anymore...

5. Some of the kids whom are the meanest to me actually love me the most...they just don't know how to show it and have defense mechanisms just like I do. And some of the toughest kids to love are the ones whom need it the most.

6. Things such as photo albums, rain jackets, and random necessities can be incredibly hard to find—in the center of the big city!

7. I have never gotten so physically sick in my life has I have here—and those moments can be the most homesick ones as well!

8. Classism and Christian denominations create a huge divide in this culture. And sadly, it's difficult to find a church anywhere that is doing anything about it.

9. I will never, ever again take the quality education which I have received for granted; those whom have received it are a very small minority in this country.

10. I oftentimes prefer spending times with kids over adults! I think I've re-realized this one too many times...:)

11. I wish I could love and forgive like little kids do. But I have not been as in love as I have been here...they have totally robbed every piece of my heart!

12. The solution to the worldwide pandemic of poverty is education...and Jesus. You cannot have one without the other and be successful in overcoming poverty. Young people need to know and understand that they have a lifelong and eternal purpose in order for education to have true meaning for their lives.

13. I've learned to exercise my creativity, which was dormant for many years...lots of kids + lack of supplies allows one to succumb to this! I've also been working with some of the most creative people I've ever met...it's rather intimidating, actually.:)

14. “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Paul, Philippians 4:12. I have learned what contentment means like never before, in many situations throughout my days.

15. I frankly and honestly do not support large orphanages; I believe that children need and desire a smaller environment in which to grow, learn, and receive love. However, the sad thing is that this large orphanage sometimes is the only solution to huge, worldwide problem of poverty, infidelity, and abandonment of personal responsibility.

16. The safest place in the big cities of Honduras are the malls—noooo!

17. Hondurans are the most beautiful people I've ever met.

18. Sometimes the biggest thing I can do in a student's life here is simply be his/her friend. It's amazing what a difference it makes in their lives to know that someone cares about them. And sometimes, one friend is all they've got.

19. The top foods I crave from the States are chocolate, peanut butter, goooood cheese, and fresh sandwiches! The beans and rice everyday just don't suffice...

20. I at last feel completely at home in the Latin American culture!